The Search for Home: Rebuilding a Sense of Belonging After Displacement

For millions displaced by the ongoing conflict between Russia and Ukraine, now entering its fourth year, a profound loss persists beyond the physical: the loss of home as a feeling. It’s that intangible sense of belonging, comfort, and connection that many struggle to rebuild in new cities or countries. Why is this feeling so vital, and why does returning to a former home sometimes deepen the ache? Drawing on hundreds of reader responses and expert insight, we explore what it means to create a home from scratch.

Psychologists describe 'home' not as a fixed address, but as a continuous, personal project. It’s built through daily rituals, familiar faces at a local bakery, the autonomy to shape your space, and the competence to navigate your surroundings. For some, it’s a city layered with memories; for others, it’s the presence of a partner or the simple act of cooking a favorite meal. Researcher Svetlana Boym called it 'a sense of intimacy with the world.'

The barriers to forging this new intimacy are significant. Language gaps, unwelcoming environments, temporary housing, and the sheer trauma of forced departure can leave people feeling suspended between a vanished past and an unanchored present. 'Sometimes the hardest part is acknowledging the loss,' says gestalt therapist Olga Movchan. She notes that giving oneself permission to grieve is often the first, crucial step.

Practical strategies can lay a new foundation. Readers and therapists suggest starting small: a favorite cup brought from the old country, a regular walk in a nearby park, or a plant for the windowsill. Building even 'weak ties'—greeting a neighbor, recognizing a shopkeeper—creates threads of familiarity. Engaging with local communities, whether through volunteer work, classes, or markets, helps weave those threads into a social fabric.

Importantly, experts advise against forcing a recreation of the past. The goal isn't to replicate a mother’s borscht in a new kitchen, but to build new associations of taste and comfort. It’s a slow, often arduous process of integrating loss while remaining open to new connections.

For some, the concept of a single, fixed home has dissolved entirely, replaced by an identity as a citizen of the world. For others, the search continues. The consensus is that there is no deadline for this adaptation. As clinical psychologist Anna Shaginyan puts it, it's not a checklist to be completed, but an experience to be gradually woven into one's life story. The path to feeling at home again, it seems, is built one deliberate, compassionate step at a time.